Things you can't eat with a beard

The last few months have been spent cultivating my facial hair. From only a little more than designer stubble to a fully-fledged, ginger face crown. The growth of the beard outwards and downwards into a luxuriant thicket has come with some downsides. Foodstuffs which I once happily slurped and scoffed with abandon have become a minefield of potential embarrassment. What looks good on the plate definitely looks less acceptable once velcro-ed to ones 'tache or decorating your chin well past mealtimes.
From experience I have put together a list of the top five foods that you can't eat with a beard. Or at least, have to make sure that you are clear of debris after eating to avoid looking like one of 'The Twits'. Here goes....
1) RAMEN: I had previously perfected my ramen slurp but am having to reassess my technique as a tonkatsu 'tache is less than acceptable.
2) MELTED CHEESE: cheesicles hanging from your beard aren't festive and take some removing. This is particularly true of toasties - if you go straight from Breville to beard, remove at haste or it will be with you well into next week.
3) EGG YOLK: dried egg freaks me out at the best of time. Dried egg yolk in your 'tache looks like a cold sore. Enough said.
4) SOUP: obviously.
5) CAPPUCCINO/GUINNESS: Quite literally a milk moustache on your moustache. Bleached tips aren't a good look but fortunately can be removed with a surreptitious swipe of the tongue.


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